I find the folded paper between the pages of my notebooks. What I find are just the pieces of paper and a bit of ink with that. At least, it seems like that when a stranger looks at it. However, I see something different, I see the lines and the past that had been stuck in between them.
The journey of these papers to the future is just the memories of the past. How strange it is to be stuck in the past and travel to the future. As if, it is in front of your eyes, you can’t touch it and when you are trying to touch it, you interflow with nothingness. Just like the existence of my feelings outside of me.
But what is the disappearance of a feeling, when you are trying to feel something? I guess the answer to this question is in the papers that I have lost my feelings in. Let’s get back to that paper.
There is a paper I found in between the pages, the folded paper, but it is not a paper only, it is someone, it is me that got lost in someone and it is my feelings. This is the ability that God doesn’t give to everyone, this is to lose God in religions and to find it in my heart.
Because when you are far away from the people and humanity when you lose your love and hate, you just find yourself in your heart. But you don’t find the past you or your feelings, you find the real you and the one that must exist.
So, who should I thank? The one that caused me to engrave ink on those papers or to the feelings that I have lost in those papers? I guess I should thank myself, I am the one that can love, I am the one that engraved ink on the paper.
I'm....!